abbababy

Becki just sent another round of ultrasound photos. These were taken on August 16. Apparently the technician was new on the job, so the images aren't all that clear. I've cropped and rotated them a bit to make them easier to make out. In the first photo, Baby Boy A is lying on his side. All you can see are his forehead, eyes and the bridge of his nose. In the other photo, Baby Boy B's nose and mouth are pretty clear. And in case you're wondering about Baby B's lips ... the answer is no. Angelina Jolie was not our egg donor. (At least as far as we know.)

Tim (a.k.a. "Daddy")

Even though we know we'll eat our words later ... we'd like to announce that the nursery in Provence is finished. (Now, before we continue this blog entry, let's wait for the howls of laughter from people who already have small kids to diminish. Good.)

Yes, these are all pictures of the same room, taken from three different angles. (Click on them to enlarge.) Those of you who have stayed with us in the "Cozy Corner" (so far that would be Jake, Solly, Andrew, Shyam, and Eric) probably won't even recognize your old room.

You'll also notice there are two different cribs in the nursery. After we went and bought a new, standard-size crib to replace the ill-conceived Ikea one, we realized that the twins will be about six months old by the time we come back to France -- and twins only sleep in the same crib for the first six months. Of course we'll need TWO cribs next spring! What were we thinking? Obviously our brains are not working right because when we bought the second crib, we completely forgot to buy a second mattress to go with it. What Einsteins we are. Every time we go back to that baby store in Montélimar, the salesgirl pumps her elbow and makes a "ka-ching!" sound. If she's working on commission, she's rich now.

Tim (a.k.a. Daddy)

Here's an excerpt from this morning's email from Becki:

• We had another doctor's appointment on Tuesday and Dr. Watson says everything is looking wonderful. I had some bloodwork done to check for anemia and gestational diabetes. I haven't heard anything back from that so no news is good news, I guess. We will be having an appointment now every 2 weeks. The next appointment is on August 29th. I asked about the next ultrasound and he decided he wanted one this week and then again at 34 weeks to check the size of the babies and for position. I had the ultrasound on Wednesday. The boys are gaining plenty of weight. Baby A weighs in at about 2 lbs. 14 oz. and baby B is weighing right at 3 lbs. Good size boys if you ask me. Both babies are in the head down position (I could have told him that by the pressure on my bladder :) ) Dr. Watson says this is good. As long as they stay that way, he sees no problem with a vaginal delivery for both. ... I'm starting to feel pregnant. There is no comfortable position for sleeping, I'm starting to get feet in my ribs, the bathroom has become my best friend and breathing has become a luxury. But I still love it! Time seems to be flying by.

Since we know the exact day the eggs were fertilized (the IVF was on Feb 16), we know that we're exactly 28 weeks pregnant. As you can see from my post last Thursday, the boys are both almost a pound bigger than the baby books estimate! To be blunt, we're speechless. What a great way to start the day.

Tim (a.k.a. Daddy)

With the last of our wonderful summer guests departed, I was chomping at the bit to turn our second guest room (the "Cozy Corner") into a nursery for the twins. Early in the summer, Morley and I had gone to Ikea and purchased a matching crib and dresser/changing table and then stored them away for safekeeping. On the way home from taking our friend Eric to the train station, we stopped in at one of those big-box baby emporiums in Montélimar and bought the most wonderful layette set. The motif is of a daddy rabbit gazing down on a bunny in a cradle. Below the image are the embroidered words "Mon papa me berce" (My daddy rocks me). My heart just melted. We spent about 700 euros at that store, buying sheets, pacifiers, bumpers, sleepers, bibs and all sorts of stuff, and then drove home. I hauled out the Ikea crib and matching mattress, put everything together (it looked adorable) and then I tried to put the bumper and the Mon papa me berce sheets on the crib.

Nothing fit.

You know, I always just thought a crib was a crib. Some were sturdy, some were flimsy, some were ugly, some were gorgeous ... but at least they were all "standard crib size." Morley and I have just now learned the hard way that there IS a standard crib size and Ikea couldn't care less. It chooses to make its baby beds significantly narrower and shorter than the standard. You absolutely can't use normal baby bedding on an Ikea crib! Oh yeah, and the changing table isn't the right dimensions for a standard changing pad, either. What are they smoking in Sweden?

Wonderful. So tomorrow we've got to go shopping for another -- larger -- crib for our sons. At least we won't make the same costly mistake when we furnish the nursery in Toronto two weeks from now.

Tim

"Keep your voices down, sweethearts. Daddy's really grumpy."

Abba

Babies now weigh 2.22 lbs (over 1 kilogram!) and are 14.8 inches (37.6 cm long). It's all about eyes now. Eyelashes are present, and the babies' eyelids are unfused and can partially open. The boys are sensitive to various levels of light and darkness but can't detect objects yet.

Tim

The twins now weigh 1.93 lbs (875 grams) each and are 14.41 inches (36.6 cm) long. Wow, almost two pounds! The past week was a period of rapid brain growth and development. The babies' brain wave patterns are now similar to those of a full-term baby at birth.

Tim

"It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows."

Erma Bombeck

When Morley and I woke up this morning, we were both in terrible moods. We're having trouble with the phone company, the stock market, and the sale of our house in Toronto. Morley has job irritations and I have book publicity worries. A pestilential darkness lurked in every corner. The minute we checked our email, however, the whole day brightened up. Becki had sent a note -- and photos! Knowing that our sons and our surrogate were doing well made all the other little worries and problems of life seem unimportant. The things that truly matter are going beautifully. We'd like to share with you one of the picutres of what Becki looks like six months pregnant. (Click on the photo to see it full-sized.) She also sent along a list of her own FAQs and her answers to them. She compiled the list with her husband, Scott, and her 14-year-old son, Brody. We're sure you'll find the FAQs as interesting as we did.

Tim

Becki's Frequently-Asked Questions

Q. Aren't you going to have trouble giving them up after carrying them for so long?

A. No, I know that they will be cared for by wonderful parents.

Q. Do you know the parents?

A. We do now, and we absolutely love them!

Q. Don't you hate being pregnant?

A. No, I love it.....

Q. Will you still have contact with the parents and babies after they are born?

A. That is entirely up to the parents. We are okay with whatever they choose.

Q. How does Scott and Brody feel about what you're doing?

A. They are as excited and very much involved in the pregnancy.

Q. Did they use your egg?

A. No, I chose to be a gestational surrogate. I received the embryos after they were already created.

Becki

Some of you who have just learned about our great news are still a little fuzzy about the details. Here in a nutshell is what's going on:

Morley and I have always wanted to have children and for several years have been exploring the possibilities. After looking into local and international adoption (and being disheartened by the downsides and our very limited range of possibilities), we decided on surrogacy. With the help of a wonderful agency in California called Growing Generations, we selected an anonymous egg donor and were matched with a surrogate. Our donor is intelligent, beautiful and sweet-natured. Our surrogate, Becki, (who is also intelligent, beautiful and sweet-natured) lives with her husband and teenage son in Ohio. We are blessed to have found two such amazing women to help us create our family. So far, the pregnancy has gone extremely well. In fact, it's been textbook-perfect; better than anyone could have hoped for. We plan to temporarily move down to Becki's area starting the first of October to be on hand for the birth of our twin sons.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Q: So who is the father?

A: We both are. Our children have two equal parents.

Q: Yeah, but who is the real father?

A: Biologially speaking, one or the other (obviously). Legally speaking, please refer to our previous answer.

Q: When will you be able to take the babies?

A: There is no "handover" of the children. Our twins will be ours from the moment of birth. We can take the twins home as soon as the doctor says they are okay to leave the hospital.

Q: Aren't you afraid that Becki will change her mind and want to keep the babies?

A: No.

Q: Are you going to raise the twins to be gay?

A: That's not humanly possible. If you'd like to know what the experts say, try this link -- http://www.apa.org/pi/parent.html or this link http://www.psych.org/edu/other_res/lib_archives/archives/200214.pdf

Q: Have you picked out any names yet?

A: Yes! We have two wonderful sets of names ready. For the meantime, however, we're keeping them a secret. A little mystery is a good thing.

Tim

As of today, we're now six months pregnant. The babies weigh 1.68 lbs (760 grams) each, and they're 14 inches (35.6 cm) long, crown to heel. By this time, eyebrows and eyelashes are usually present. Over the next couple of days, the babies' fingernails will become noticeable. More importantly, brain activity has just started in the boys' visual and auditory systems. They are now able to somewhat sense the presence of light and sound, but of course they can't really comprehend anything yet. I have a feeling, when the boys are about five or six years old and parroting our every offhand or foolish remark, Morley and I are going to long for these halcyon days.

Timothy

"The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant -- and let the air out of the tires."

Dorothy Parker

We phoned our surrogate in Ohio last night to see how things were going. Becki sounded radiant. She said she feels wonderful and the twins are active and growing. (Actually, I think she said something more like, "They're fighting all the time. If they're like this after they come out, you're going to need all the help you can get." Then she laughed.) We absolutely adore her. Becki works as a paramedic in a hospital emergency room, and her doctor said the time is fast approaching when she'll have to drastically cut back on the job. Actually, it's not as if he'll have to order her to rest. In another month, she's going to be so big, simply sitting in a chair is going to be the most strenuous thing she'll be able to do. The photo here was taken at the beginning of July -- and we thought she was huge then! Becki's promised to send another photo soon. We can't wait.

Timothy